Relationships are a beautiful dance of connection, love, and growth. But even the strongest partnerships need intentional care to stay vibrant. If you’ve ever felt distant from your partner or wondered how to bring back that deep sense of connection, you’re not alone. Every couple experiences ups and downs—but the good news is, small, meaningful changes can make a big difference.
Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, has spent decades studying what makes relationships thrive. One of his biggest findings? Couples who nurture fondness and admiration—the ability to appreciate and respect one another—are more likely to build long-lasting, fulfilling partnerships.
If you’ve ever wanted to feel closer to your partner, improve communication, or bring more warmth into your relationship, this is a great place to start. Let’s explore how you can cultivate these essential qualities—and if you’d like personalized guidance, a couples therapist can help you and your partner put these ideas into practice.
What Are Fondness and Admiration?
Fondness and admiration are the emotional glue that keeps relationships strong. When you feel fond of your partner, you genuinely like them—not just love them, but enjoy who they are. Admiration is the deep respect and appreciation you have for their qualities, values, and contributions to your life.
In Gottman’s research, couples who actively express fondness and admiration tend to have more trust, intimacy, and resilience when facing challenges. On the flip side, relationships that lack these qualities often struggle with criticism, resentment, and emotional disconnection.
But here’s the great news: Fondness and admiration can be strengthened—no matter where your relationship currently stands.
How to Bring More Fondness and Admiration into Your Relationship
The key to nurturing fondness and admiration is intentionality—choosing to see the best in your partner and expressing your appreciation often. Here are some therapist-approved ways to build these essential relationship habits:
🌱 Say “Thank You” Often – It sounds simple, but gratitude is powerful. Thank your partner for small, everyday things—making you coffee, running an errand, or simply being supportive. Verbalizing appreciation keeps positive energy flowing between you.
💡 Revisit Your Love Story – Take some time to talk about the early days of your relationship. What drew you to each other? What were your favorite moments together? Reminiscing about your journey can reignite feelings of love and admiration.
📝 Create an Appreciation List – Write down five things you admire about your partner. Their kindness? Their sense of humor? Their work ethic? Share it with them, or even leave little notes for them to find!
🎉 Celebrate Each Other’s Wins – Whether it’s a big career milestone or a small personal achievement, take a moment to recognize and celebrate your partner’s successes. Being each other’s cheerleader strengthens emotional connection.
❤️ Make Daily Check-Ins a Habit – Take five minutes each day to ask each other, “How was your day?” Listen with curiosity and support. Small moments of connection add up over time.
🥰 Look for the Good – In the busyness of life, it’s easy to focus on what’s frustrating. Instead, train your mind to notice the good. Ask yourself, What did my partner do today that I appreciate? Shifting your mindset toward gratitude can transform the way you see your relationship.
💬 Give Compliments Freely – Tell your partner what you love about them! “I love how thoughtful you are” or “You’re such a great listener” can go a long way in making them feel valued.
Why Therapy Can Help Strengthen Fondness and Admiration
Even when we love our partners deeply, life’s stresses can sometimes make it hard to focus on appreciation. Maybe you’ve been feeling distant, struggling with communication, or caught in a cycle of criticism and frustration. If that’s the case, couples therapy can help.
A therapist can guide you and your partner through structured exercises to rebuild admiration and respect. Therapy provides a safe space to explore challenges, heal emotional wounds, and learn new ways to connect more deeply.
Some benefits of couples therapy include:
✔ Learning how to express appreciation in ways that feel meaningful to your partner
✔ Identifying and shifting negative patterns that erode fondness
✔ Strengthening emotional intimacy through intentional communication
✔ Creating daily habits that bring more warmth and connection into your relationship
You don’t have to figure this out alone—having a skilled therapist on your team can make all the difference.
Take the Next Step in Strengthening Your Relationship
If you’re ready to build a deeper, more connected partnership, we’d love to support you. Therapy isn’t just for couples in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to create a stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship.
💛 Want to start this journey together? Click the “Book Online” button to schedule a session with a therapist who can help you build the relationship you deserve.
Your relationship is worth investing in. Start today, and see how small moments of appreciation can transform your connection. 💕
