Have you ever found yourself feeling anxious about feeling anxious? You might start worrying about an upcoming event or situation, and before you know it, the anxiety about how anxious you’ll feel is almost worse than the event itself. This is known as anticipatory anxiety, and it’s something many of us experience at some point. Whether it’s an important meeting, a social gathering, or something else on your calendar, the worry about what could happen can sometimes spiral out of control. The good news is, anticipatory anxiety doesn’t have to take over your life. With a few helpful strategies, you can manage it and feel more confident facing what’s ahead.

What is Anticipatory Anxiety?

Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety you feel before a specific event or situation. It’s often a mix of worry, fear, and even physical symptoms like a racing heart or tightness in your chest. It can involve a lot of “what if” thinking, where you imagine all the worst possible outcomes. The anxiety often feels bigger than the actual event itself, leaving you drained and stressed even before it’s started.

This type of anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that it’s a normal reaction to uncertainty. Sometimes, though, that anxiety can feel so intense that it starts to interfere with your daily life. When the worry is disproportionate to the situation or event, it can feel really difficult to manage.

Why Does Anticipatory Anxiety Happen?

There are a few reasons why anticipatory anxiety may show up:

1. Fear of the Unknown: We often feel anxious about what we can’t predict. The uncertainty of a future event can trigger your brain’s natural “fight or flight” response, which creates anxiety.

2. Perfectionism: If you tend to be a perfectionist, you might feel pressure to perform flawlessly. The thought of making a mistake or falling short of your own high standards can make you anxious.

3. Past Experiences: If you’ve had negative experiences in similar situations before, your brain might expect them to happen again, which makes you anxious about repeating those same mistakes.

4. Catastrophic Thinking: Sometimes, we imagine the worst possible outcome in every situation. This “what if” thinking can make the anxiety feel much worse than it really is.

5. Feeling Unprepared: When you don’t feel ready for something, it can cause anxiety. The thought of being caught off guard or not having control over a situation can increase feelings of worry.

How to Cope with Anticipatory Anxiety

While anticipatory anxiety can feel tough to deal with, there are several ways to manage it. The key is to shift your mindset and take practical steps to calm your nerves. Here are some strategies to help you cope:

1. Challenge Your Worrying Thoughts

A lot of anticipatory anxiety comes from unhelpful or unrealistic thoughts. When you notice yourself worrying about the future, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

• What’s the evidence that this will actually happen?

• Have I faced similar situations before? How did I handle them?

• What’s the worst-case scenario, and how likely is it to occur?

Often, when we stop to question our thoughts, we realize that the worst-case scenarios are unlikely. Challenging these negative thoughts helps to put the anxiety in perspective.

2. Focus on the Present Moment (Mindfulness)

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for managing anticipatory anxiety. When your mind starts racing about an event in the future, try to bring your attention back to the present moment. One simple mindfulness practice is deep breathing. Try this:

• Take a few slow, deep breaths.

• Focus on the feeling of the breath entering and leaving your body.

• Bring your attention to what you can see, hear, or feel in the present moment.

This practice helps you reconnect to the here and now, reducing the grip of anxiety about things that haven’t happened yet.

3. Break Things Down Into Small Steps

When an upcoming event feels overwhelming, it can help to break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. Instead of focusing on the whole event, look at what you can do right now to prepare. For example, if you’re anxious about giving a presentation, start by writing a simple outline or practicing for just 10 minutes. Taking small actions can help you feel more in control and reduce anxiety.

4. Be Kind to Yourself (Self-Compassion)

It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you’re feeling anxious, but that often only makes the anxiety worse. Instead, practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who is struggling. Saying things like, “It’s okay to feel nervous, I can handle this” can be a helpful way to ease your anxiety.

5. Use Relaxation Techniques

Relaxation techniques, like progressive muscle relaxation or visualization, can help calm your body and mind. In progressive muscle relaxation, you tense and then relax different muscle groups in your body, helping you release physical tension. Visualization is another helpful tool, where you picture yourself in a peaceful place or imagine the event going well. These practices activate your body’s natural relaxation response and help reduce anxiety.

6. Prepare, But Don’t Overprepare

Preparing for an event is important, but overpreparing can sometimes make anxiety worse. Instead of obsessing over every detail, focus on what you need to do and then give yourself permission to stop once you’re ready. Perfectionism can lead to unnecessary stress, so aim for balance—prepare enough, but don’t get stuck in an endless loop of preparation.

7. Talk to Someone You Trust

Sometimes just talking about your anxiety can help. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist and share what you’re feeling. Talking it out can often give you a new perspective and remind you that you’re not alone. If you find that your anticipatory anxiety is really affecting your life, working with a therapist can help you explore the root causes and develop healthier coping strategies.

Final Thoughts

Anticipatory anxiety can be a real challenge, but with the right mindset and techniques, you can manage it. By shifting your thoughts, staying present, practicing self-compassion, and using relaxation techniques, you can reduce the hold that anxiety has over you. Remember, it’s okay to feel anxious, and it doesn’t mean you’re not capable. You can face what’s ahead with confidence.

If you’re struggling with anticipatory anxiety or just need support in managing anxiety in general, I’m here to help. Click here to book a free consultation and take the first step toward feeling more grounded and confident in your life. Let’s work together to find the tools and strategies that will support you on your journey.