If you grew up in a religious environment that taught you your body belonged to someone else, you are not alone. For many people raised in purity culture or faith communities with strict gender roles, the idea of body autonomy can feel unfamiliar, confusing, or even wrong. You may have learned, either directly or indirectly, that your body was not truly yours. It might have been framed as belonging to your future spouse, your family, your faith, or a higher power. The messages were often clear: good people obey, good women submit, and good children don’t question authority.

For those who are now deconstructing these messages and stepping into a more authentic sense of self, reclaiming your body is not just about sexuality. It is about safety, worth, and choice. In therapy, especially through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Narrative Therapy, we explore how to reconnect with your body, honor your experiences, and gently rewrite the stories you were told about who you are and what your body is for.

What Is Body Autonomy and Why Does It Matter?

Body autonomy means having the right and ability to make choices about your own body. It includes saying yes, saying no, setting boundaries, and feeling safe to express your needs, desires, and limits. It is foundational to self-respect and relational health. Without body autonomy, it becomes difficult to experience healthy intimacy, to advocate for yourself, or to even notice what your body is telling you.

When your upbringing taught you to override your own instincts in favor of obedience or purity, it can be incredibly hard to recognize that your body is yours now. The sense of ownership and connection may feel distant or unfamiliar. This is where healing begins.

Messages You May Have Heard

Religious messages about the body often come wrapped in moral language. You may have heard:

  • “Your body is a temple and must remain pure.”
  • “Your sexuality belongs to your future husband.”
  • “Good girls don’t touch themselves.”
  • “Obedience is a sign of faith.”
  • “Modesty protects you and others from sin.”

Even when these messages are given with good intentions, they often teach people to suppress their curiosity, ignore their physical sensations, and disconnect from their own boundaries. In purity culture especially, girls and women are taught that their bodies are inherently dangerous or shameful, responsible for tempting others or needing to be hidden.

For LGBTQ+ individuals, the pain is often doubled. The messages can invalidate your very existence, telling you that your desires are sinful or that you must conform to heterosexual or cisgender norms to be worthy of love. These teachings can leave deep wounds that affect not only your sexual identity but your core sense of self.

How These Messages Impact You Today

The effects of these teachings do not magically disappear when you leave the church or stop believing. They can linger in your body, your relationships, and your inner voice. You may notice:

  • Difficulty expressing desire or experiencing pleasure
  • Anxiety or shame around sexuality
  • Fear of being seen or touched
  • Trouble setting or holding boundaries
  • Guilt when prioritizing your own needs
  • Disconnect from your body during intimacy

Many people feel like they are broken or confused, but what they are really experiencing is the aftermath of deep conditioning. You are not broken. You were taught to disconnect from yourself, and now you are learning to come home.

Healing Through Therapy

In therapy, we explore how these beliefs have shaped your emotional world and your sense of identity. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps you understand your emotional responses, especially those tied to attachment and safety. If you learned that expressing needs would lead to punishment or shame, EFT can help you safely explore those emotions and form new, supportive emotional bonds with yourself and with others.

Narrative Therapy invites you to step outside the stories you were given and ask: Whose voice is this? Does this story serve me? What do I believe now? Together, we begin to rewrite the story of your body, not as a vessel for others, but as your own sacred, sovereign space.

For example, you might have internalized the narrative, “My desires are dangerous or sinful.” In therapy, we explore where that came from and how it shaped your choices. Then we help you create a new story: “My desires are valid, and I have the right to explore them safely. My body isn’t a sin, pleasure isn’t bad” This isn’t just about changing thoughts, it’s about reconnecting with your body and reclaiming the right to feel.

Building Inclusive Paths to Autonomy

Reclaiming your body can look different for everyone. For some, it means embracing sexuality with joy. For others, it means learning how to say no without guilt. It can include:

  • Practicing consent in all areas of life
  • Reconnecting with pleasure, curiosity, and embodiment
  • Naming and challenging internalized messages
  • Honoring gender identity and sexual orientation
  • Healing from spiritual abuse

Inclusivity means honoring all bodies and all journeys. Whether you are cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, queer, straight, celibate, partnered, or exploring, your body is yours. Therapy can offer a space where your full identity is welcomed and affirmed.

Small Steps Toward Reclaiming Your Body

If this resonates with you, here are some gentle steps you can take:

  • Start a body journal to notice what your body feels and needs
  • Practice saying no to things that feel uncomfortable
  • Use affirmations like “My body is mine” or “I get to choose”
  • Explore touch, movement, or breathwork that feels nourishing
  • Seek a therapist who is trauma-informed and affirming of your identity

Healing is not linear. Some days you may feel empowered, and other days you may feel tangled in old beliefs. That is okay. What matters is that you keep showing up with compassion for yourself.

Closing Thoughts

You were never meant to live disconnected from your own body. It was not a mistake that you have desires, boundaries, or emotions. Your body is not a burden or a battleground. It is your home.

Reclaiming your autonomy is not about rejecting your past; it is about creating space for your present truth. Therapy can help you untangle the beliefs that no longer serve you and step into a life where you get to choose what safety, connection, and embodiment look like.

You are allowed to belong fully to yourself. That truth is not only radical. It is sacred.